The Belly of the Whale


Monday, January 4, 2010


Hello all, thank you for checking in and voting, you have been a big help. To those who haven't, we can still be friends.

SO. Here we have our final round which features Polar Bear w/ Chainsaw, who came in and tore asunder Harpoon Tim, (a fan favorite,) after he had made such quick work of the feared Arsenal Shark in the very first round. Also featured here tonight is Alexi Skyboots who climbed the brackets after a near loss to the mysterious and nefarious Dr. Ducky and took on the perhaps less prepared Shortstack Griswald who put up almost no fight whatsoever.
Now it comes down to the final two; the calculating, precise and well equipped spacer, a pirate fighting for the liberation of her people (and space gold,) or the blood soaked rage of a marauding polar bear with a stunning knowledge of deforestation implements, homeless now, and without a family, he seeks revenge.
Too good of a matchup to miss out on, so please, enter your votes.

TO VOTE, click on the comments section below and type in who you think would win the fight. please be clear on who you think the winner will be, one vote per person, if you like, you are encouraged to write a synopsis on how you see the battle going down (I'm not giving up on this one.) Voting will END Friday the 22nd of January.


Alexi Skyboots.
Height: 65 inches
Weight: 137 lbs. (significantly less in zero-grav.)
Age: 30
Affiliation: Independent
Equipment: Space suit, long range rifle, sidearm, trained mutated space capybara, emergency thruster pack, boots; made for walking.
Special Notes: Some military training.

Polar Bear W/ Chainsaw

Height: 10 feet (standing)
Weight: 2,013 lbs.
Age: 9
Affiliation: None.
Equipment: Chainsaw, 12 inch paws, 42 teeth, 4 inches of blubber, honed survival instincts.
Special Notes: Largest terrestrial carnivore, pissed off.

Thank you all for voting


  1. Polar Bear w/ Chainsaw for the win. What can I say? I have a soft spot for both.

    Can there be a bonus round with Polar Bear v. Chainsaw?

  2. polar bear and i too would like to see polar bear vs. chainsaw.

  3. I"m going to say the polar bear wins... and he needs a name so I say Zack.

    Zack the Space Pirate Polar bear. He's use to having a bounty on his head so this skyboots chick didn't know what was coming when he ambushed her.

    So yeah Zack wins.

  4. polar bear with chainsaw. and berger didnt you name the shark jack? and now zack? really? really berger?

  5. you guys are wrong as usual...Alexi all the way.

  6. yeah i vote for skyboots too. she's already riding a polar bear sort of.

  7. as much as i think power to the women, the polar bear tops it. go Polar Bear!

  8. Heavens to betsy, is this even a question? It's like asking if an anteater can beat an ant. Yes, the polar bear with a chainsaw will win. It's a matter of bear honor, anyways.

    Also, I haven't forgotten that I owe you money, suh!

  9. Also, if Alexi's boots were made for walking WHY IS SHE RIDING A TRAINED MUTATED SPACE CAPYBARA. She's clearly past her prime. All of my bets are on the polar bear can't beat nature when it comes to sheer strength and rage.