The Belly of the Whale


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

VOTE ON THIS!!! Me Very Own Fist-A-Cuffs

Recently my character creation instructor ( ) turned me on to this blog called Fist-A-Cuffs. Its a site where artists create and submit their often humorous and always creative invention of soldiers warriors and monsters to be pitted in battle against one another. People who follow the blog vote on which they think should win and are encouraged to give a battle play by play as reasoning. You get to watch your favorite fighter climb the brackets or succumb to defeat.
For my character creation final I decided to create my own bracket of 6 fighters to go head to head against one another and have the class vote on the who wins.

Here I present the first two fighters and encourage you to vote on the winner.

Harpoon Tim

Arsenal Shark

TO VOTE: simply click on the comments link and tell everyone who you can see winning. Give a description of the battle if you like, but please be clear on who you think the winner is.

We'll see if anyone actually votes.


here is the fist-a-cuffs link. look at it.


  1. Harpoon Tim would win..human intellect and a cool belt buckle.

  2. my vote is for arsenal shark...he has so many more natural weapons, look at those teeth! and his muscles are way bigger...

  3. said it once ill say it again.

    Tim For The Win.

  4. Harpoon Tim wins obviously... first, his hat is too cool to be a loosing hat, second arsenal shark can't see whats in front of him, and third harpoons are awesome

    -big sister

  5. arsenal shark... he's got guns and grenades

  6. Hmmmm this is a tough one buuuut......I must say that Harpoon Tim would absolutely win this one! Anyone who can grab a few harpoons and use them as weapons probably ain't scared of shit! Arsenal Shark looks like he has some crazy guns....arms/weapons, but Harpoon Tim look like he has got some sweet tricks up his sleeves.

  7. Harpoon Tim would win, but I wanna try to describe how I see the fight going down... Because that sounds like fun.

    The scene is like a Port City in the dead of night. Both were only in town briefly, before setting out to sea where they feel more comfortable. Ishmael complexes and such they kept to themselves mostly. However, when they heard about *The* Tournament they entered seeking the same thrill they found out on the ocean. Seems a tragedy how two so alike would come to a head this early in the Tournament.

    Anyways It's night and they are positioned at opposite ends of a dark alley. The smell of sea salt to cover the smell of blood, and the noise of the many nearby taverns and pubs to muffle the sound of battle.


    Staring... A stand off... Dramatic pause...



    The expert marksman, and Street Shark descendant, Arsenal Shark Charges Harpoon Tim laser sighted pistols blazing.

    Timothy of the Harpoon chews his cigar and begins deflecting the shots with his two harpoons. Given to him by his father who's father gave to him and so forth. The family heirlooms crafted in ways that Tim could only begin to understand, easily redirect the shots.

    The bullets are ricocheting off the walls. Wooden crates and other debris start to break into shards and splinters. They spray forth stabbing at Arsenal Shark (who needs a better name before we kill him so he's going to be called Jack) as he barrels down the alley. The blood is flowing and Jack's eyes go red. He is picking up speed and Tim is becoming a bigger target, but he hears the familiar clicking of an empty clip. He tosses the pistols to the side and dives...

    A cloud of dust and smoke billows down the alleyway with a gust of wind engulfing Timothy. Continuing to twirl his harpoons he moves cautiously forward. Straining his ears, teething a now unlit cigar Timothy searches for the shark.

    Suddenly from behind, Jack bursts forth from the pavement shotgun in hand. Grinning to reveal his many rows of teeth, Jack aims and blasts Tim.

    Timothy caught unaware had almost no time to get out of the way... Almost... Leaping to the side, the blast grazing his ribs. His landing was less graceful as he was unable to get proper footing, he fell to the floor.

    Jack the Arsenal Shark closes in on Tim. He hacks a loogey over his shoulder, trying to get the taste of concrete out of his mouth. He can smell the blood so close. So very close... He glances to the ground to see one of Tim's harpoons has been released from his grasp. Ornamentally engraved, it shines translucently in the moon light. Jack laughs and stomps on the heirloom. Cracking the intricate woodwork of it's handle.

    Timothy is on his feet now, cigar relit. His eyes narrow...

    Jack continues to laugh discards the shotgun, and draws his knife. Motioning at Tim to try and best him in melee combat.

    It happens in a flash. It was Timothy of the Harpoon's turn to charge now, and he did so with a beast-like ferocity. The weapons were swinging, attacks were blocked or countered. Happening so fast that the naked eye could barely see, or it was simply too much for the narrator to describe.


    Jack's knife hits the ground and Tim lets the first hint of a smile cross his face. Timothy uses the blunt end of his harpoon to knock Jack off his balance. Spins around and follows up by driving the harpoon straight through the side of Jack's head.

    Stuck halfway through, like a bad costume involving an arrow. Water tanks shattered, gills torn, let alone brain matter. Jack falls to his knees, blood and water spilling out of the side of his head.

    Timothy takes out a new cigar and lights it. He grabs his harpoon and continues to pull it through the shark's head.

    Jack's eyes twitch once more before the harpoon leaves his skull. The Arsenal Shark falls face down in a pool of his own blood.

    Timothy of the Harpoon collects his other harpoon and shakes his head at the maintenance he will have to perform. He shrugs and exits the alleyway heading to the nearest pub.

  8. Sooo... You gave Arsenal Shark a water patch to go over his gills, allowing him to breath on land... and legs.

    Im going to go ahead and say that A. Shark would win, but Tim would have more style. I mean, seriously, A. Shark? Ammo belts across the chest? you don't even have a weapon that USES ammo belts.

    Althouth if H. Tim sees the release valve on said water patch, He has a very good chance... I suppose only time will tell.

  9. mm.. Arsenal Shark. it would be one of those fights where he walks away simply pulling the harpoons out of him, like nothing happened.

  10. I said it before, I'll say it again.


  11. I think Tim has a lot more class, and would be more interesting to watch win the fight. Seeing as he smaller in size, it would only make the victory that more exciting to see him win!
    Plus he looks pretty damn handy with those harpoons. i'm sure he's got some sweet tricks up his sleeve
    Tim for the win.

  12. I vote for the shark. Those harpoon ropes aren't even tied to anything.

  13. Im going to go with Harpoon Tim even though he is smaller and doesn't have guns he looks like a scrappy fighter.